


Some are a melody and some are the beat

by fullmoon02



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5416388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmoon02/pseuds/fullmoon02
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His other teammates would go to their own ways, not needing or wanting his company right now. The one who did, even if he didn’t realise it himself, was Lee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some are a melody and some are the beat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [strifechaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strifechaos/gifts).



> Huge thanks to my lovely beta [Ardentaislinn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentaislinn) ♥
> 
> And the merriest Yuletide, strifechaos! I hope you like this story ^_^

There was a time when Lee had thought he could never turn his back on Barney. On the other hand, he never thought Barney could dump them for a team full of arrogant newbies, either. Now, when both had happened, he found he didn’t really care what Barney thought of his actions. The blood rushed in his ears and anger made his vision blurry, but he could hear Barney yelling after him. He didn’t turn to look at him. He didn’t even slow down. Barney could rot in Hell, and take his new, precious team with him. He’d had enough. He desperately needed a drink.

*

Lee knew he should go home. He was tired, angry and hungry, which made him all sorts of unpredictable. It wasn’t a good idea to be around other people right now. But he also felt lonely and would have preferred some company. If possible, in the arms of a fine, willing woman. Loneliness was nothing new but its strength and weight on him was surprising. Depression clenched his heart, tightening its grip with every passing day. In times like these he missed Barney the most. Too bad Barney had just chosen to leave all his team behind

Lee wandered around the empty streets, walking under the pale, white light of the streetlights. The sleet got inside his boots, making his socks wet and feet cold, but he trudged on.

He didn’t know how long he had walked before finding a small pub with lights still on. Lee stepped inside, embracing the warmth.

Looking around, he saw a few Christmas decoration hanging on the walls. Walking to the bar, he seemed to catch the attention of the few other visitors. One of them was a young man whose gaze followed him very intently. However, there was more than curiosity in his expression. The man was bored and most likely looking for an opportunity to pick up a fight. He gave Lee a mirthless grin but Lee turned his gaze away. He had his own bullshit to deal with.

Lee took a seat on the empty bar. There were Christmas lights, blue, green and red, hanging from the shells and the bottles mirrored them. Wondering where the barmaid had gone, Lee heard a sound of bells. From the backroom arrived a young, very good-looking woman. Strips of fabric hung from the shoulders of her top, creating tassels that had tiny bells jingling on the end.

“Fucking hell,” Lee murmured under his breath.

The woman walked behind the bar, asking what Lee would like to drink. He ordered a double whisky.

Sipping his drink, Lee followed the barmaid with his gaze. Not that he really needed to, as her costume let Lee know where she was anyway. He decided to spend the night with her, as soon as she would close the place for the night. Lee caught himself thinking about Barney. How Barney would tell him, once again, that no woman was worth his trust. Barney’s opinion was so unconditional, sometimes Lee wondered if it was out of jealousy. Was Barney afraid of losing him and therefore telling him not to trust a woman? Or did he just try to protect him from the heartbreak, knowing how Lee could sometimes feel depressed? Squeezing his eyes shut, Lee tried to make those thoughts disappear. Thinking of Barney only made him feel bad and he felt awful enough already.

“That’s a nice looking knife you’ve got there,” a whispered voice said from his right. Reflexively, Lee laid his hand on the mentioned object on his waist, while turning around to look at the speaker. It was the same young man with a wolfish grin who had stared at him a while back. Lee wanted to groan, not having time for anyone’s bullshit right now, but decided to stay quiet.

“What other kinds of weapons do you possess?”

The man slurred a little as he spoke but his eyes were sharp. He looked like a snake, ready to strike at the first mistake Lee would make. Lee started to stand up:

“Sorry, I was just leaving.”

“No, please stay awhile,” the man said, pushing Lee’s shoulder down a little. The more Lee looked at him, the more disturbed he felt. “The night is young, still.”

Lee turned towards the bar, reaching for his whiskey. He grabbed the glass and suddenly the man gripped his wrist and squeezed, almost painfully hard. The ice cubes made a clinking sound when they clashed against the glass. Lee felt a warm breath on his neck.

“I can see you looking at her.”

“So?” Lee tried to keep his voice steady.

“She’s mine.”

For a split of a second his grip on Lee’s wrist tightened. Then, giving a short laugh, he let go.

Confused, Lee looked at the barmaid who avoided his gaze the best she could. Lee couldn’t care less about her boyfriend. At the same time he realised she could get in trouble if Lee continued to flirt with her. Disappointed, Lee decided it was time to go home.

Usually Lee would have left the girl with his number but now he instead left a generous tip. Lee slid the notes halfway on the table, so she had to come a little bit closer to him. The shy smile he got made something warm flash inside his chest. Lee hoped the girl could get rid of her jackass-of-a-boyfriend but realised he would have no chance getting her tonight. He could feel the aforementioned scumbag’s piercing gaze on his back as he walked to the door.

The dark night was silent, except for his own footsteps. Trying to think of nothing at all, Lee counted his own footsteps. Suddenly he was pushed against the wall from behind. The movement caught him by surprise and he was too late when reaching for the knife in his pocket. His attacker grabbed it easily, pushing it against his neck. Lee felt the cold blade against his skin. He calculated how much the knife weighed, how much pressure it would take to cut his skin and slit his throat. And he knew very, very well how sharp it was.

The man breathed heavily, like he was nervous. Lee closed his eyes for a few seconds, praying that the shaking hand wouldn’t accidentally penetrate the knife into his neck. Then the man spoke up:

“You think you are clever, do you? You think you can just come by and take whatever you like, huh?”

Being tired and absolutely, positively not interested in fighting with the guy, Lee tried to turn around to face him. He felt the knife pressing more firmly against his neck before he spoke up:

“Look, man. I just wanna talk. You’re the one with the knife, I can’t hurt you.”

For a few seconds, his attacker didn’t move. Then, slowly and carefully, the knife was lifted from his neck. The man still kept it close to his skin, letting Lee know he could stab him at any time - and Lee didn’t doubt he would - but he let Lee turn around.

“I didn’t know she was taken,” Lee said.

The man grunted.

“Although, I probably should’ve. She’s too gorgeous to be single.” After a brief pause, he added, “It surprises me she chose you, though.”

The change on his attacker’s face was immediate. He looked like someone who abandoned things like common sense a long time ago. Lee had time to think about Barney, how he always said Lee didn’t know when to shut up.

*

Barney didn’t want to admit it but Lee’s reaction had upset him. He had assumed he’d angry, that everyone on his team would be, but Lee seemed unable to breathe the same air as him. Remembering the look of disappointment in Lee’s eyes made him choke. He hated himself for making any of his friends feel that way. Groaning, he ran his hands through his hair.

It was no secret that Lee had always been special to him. Barney had wanted to stay close to him, almost to a point where they could have posed as a couple. Some of his new teammates had assumed as much. Galgo, who never knew how to shut up anyway, had straight up asked if they were sleeping together.

“Of course they are!” Luna had announced, overhearing their conversation. “Everybody knows that.”

It didn’t surprise Barney that his old teammates had said nothing at that. They were rarely interested in other people’s businesses.

His team. The only family he had ever had. Looking up at the sky, Barney wondered why he had to fuck this up with them so thoroughly. He had only tried to protect them. But they didn’t want his protection, so he only ended up pushing them away, hurting them. One of the stars in the dark sky flew, burning in the atmosphere. He didn’t know what to wish upon it. So far all of his good intentions had gone to waste.

“Merry Christmas!”

Barney didn’t recognise the man who greeted him but waved his hand anyway.

“Christmas, indeed.”

He couldn’t help but think about Lee. They had parted in anger - and Lee was often irresponsible when angry. He could easily pick a fight just to entertain himself. Barney was worried. Knowing Lee wouldn’t need his company, Barney decided to make his way to Lee’s apartment anyway, as he needed something to do and he wanted to check that Lee got home safely. His other teammates would go to their own ways, not needing or wanting his company right now. The one who did, even if he didn’t realise it himself, was Lee.

*

Lee woke, lying on cold, wet cement, with a throbbing headache and a pain in his side. He raised his arm slowly, carefully, to explore the damage done to his face. He had a cut on his forehead, which bled a little, but it wasn’t too bad. Running his tongue against his teeth, he noticed no noticeable damage.

Standing up was a challenge but eventually he got himself to a somewhat vertical position. His attacker had left with his knife. Not that he had really expected to get it back anyway. Pressing against his ribs, he felt one of them give in for a little and a white light of pain flared before his eyes. A cracked rib, then. Maybe more than one. The throbbing pain hammered his head with every step he took. Slowly, barely lifting his shoes from the ground, he started his journey home.

Finally standing in front of his door, he was half-senseless from the pain and cold. He stared at the lock for a few moments. Clumsily checking his pockets, he feared he had lost his key. Then he found it, in the left pocket of his jeans. The warmth of his home had never felt better, nor his couch look more inviting. He knew he should get out of his wet clothes but he was simply too tired. A minute after sitting down on the couch, he passed out.

*

Lee knew he was dreaming. He had seen this dream enough times to remember. He was on a mission. It was one of the first he had done with Barney and his team. As Barney was wont to do, he had bought them a piece of junk as a plane, which had an engine failure in the middle of the ocean. Lucky for them, they were able to land on a small island. Trapped there, they had tried to figure out how to get home.

_It would’ve been ridiculous to call the weather_ cold _but it wasn’t too warm, either. Mostly the air was thick with moisture. Big, heavy raindrops kept falling down. The wind made matters worse. It felt like the coldness got into their bones and without a decent fire, sooner or later they started to feel miserable. Lee got the worst of it, though. He had been a little feverish for a few days before they got stranded on the island. His clothes never dried properly and their plane, while giving some shelter, wasn’t able to keep him warm. Lee had caught a cold - and not just any cold but full-blown pneumonia - two days after their landing._

_He had very little actual memories of his time being sick. What he had_ were _flashes, small glimpses from here and there. He remembered the cold, hard metal of the plane against his skin. He remembered feeling both hot and cold at the same time. The constant sound of raindrops falling on the roof of their plane made him nauseous. And sometimes he had hallucinations, terrifying visions of faceless, shadowy creatures around him. Like they had eaten everything around him, leaving him all alone._

_Except that he wasn’t alone. Because that was also something he remembered. The presence of someone, always staying close to him. One time Lee had woken up to realise someone was carrying him. Thinking he was in trouble, he tried to fight back but was too weak to even raise his arms. The grip around him had tightened, but not painfully so. That’s how it was: someone stubbornly staying close to him, even when he was too weak to realise it. Someone had woken him up to drink some water, or helped him when he felt like he was suffocating, helplessly coughing. Often, in the state between dream and reality, he felt a grip on his wrist or a hand on his forehead. The touch was warm, reassuring. When his body refused to stop shaking, someone had lain next to him, pressing very close to offer the warmth of his body. A hand on his chest kept making sure he was breathing._

Lee was pretty sure it was Barney, taking care of him the whole time, whispering reassuring words to his ear. Barney’s presence, his warm and strong body against his, had felt good. Almost too good. When Lee got better, he had sometimes missed the feeling but never had the courage to say anything. He didn’t know how Barney would react to that, hearing that his best friend wanted a more physical relationship with him. So Lee stayed quiet, looking for solace from women, who all ended up leaving him - something Barney had always foreseen. Maybe it was because he didn’t know how to give the women what they wanted. In the end, there was only one person in the world who truly seemed to understand and accept him the way he was. But no one understood Barney like he did, either. Which was why it hurt Lee so much to see Barney leave them for a new team. Barney could never show his vulnerability around them like he could with Lee.

*

Suddenly Lee became more aware of his surroundings. His TV was on. He didn’t remember turning it on. He had a warm blanket on him but he didn’t remember grabbing it before going to sleep. He was barefoot but pretty sure he hadn’t removed his shoes when arriving home.

And he felt a presence. Someone else was in his house. Lee had a knife stashed between the pillows of his couch. Keeping his eyes closed, he slowly moved his hand under the blanket to reach the knife. A chuckle stopped him on his tracks. He opened his eyes but his hands flew reflexively to cover them against the light. Nausea hit him and he swallowed forcibly. Calming down, he saw someone sitting on the small table in front of the couch. Lee wanted to tell them not to do that, but if he opened his mouth now, he would probably vomit or scream in pain. Perhaps both, for the full effect.

The deepest breath he could take was quite miserable but it allowed him to smell Barney. His leather jacket, his cologne, the cigars he smoked. He should’ve expected Barney to come after him. The man could never part in anger.

“What are you doing here?” Lee mumbled, not opening his eyes.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Barney said.

“You have a whole new team you can talk to now.”

Barney sighed. If Lee had watched, he would have seen Barney turn his head away, pain and hurt clearly written on his face.

“Yes, but they are doing alright and you’re not.”

“Uh-huh. Well, I don’t want your help.”

Lee’s anger was still fresh, right on the surface. He had promised his loyalty to Barney ‘til the day he died but sometimes Barney made it difficult to love him.

“Let me guess,” Barney said to break the silence. “You tried to get a woman. And it didn’t go well with her boyfriend.”

“Something like that.”

“I seem to know you well - maybe too well. You can’t hide things from me.”

Lee gave a mirthless laugh.

“Okay, maybe you can but you shouldn’t.”

Lee knew Barney cared for him and wanted to help. But Lee wasn’t ready to let him off the hook so easily. So he stayed quiet, waiting for Barney to continue.

“Look, I’m sorry. I really am. I should have talked about this before making such hasty decisions with the new team.”

“You think?”

Barney stayed quiet for a long time before asking:

“Do you want me to leave?”

“If I say yes, will you?”

“No.”

“Thought as much.”

*

Barney stayed. First for the night, then for the next day, until the days became a week. The first couple of days were hazy for Lee, as he often slipped into dreams, only to jerk awake from a nightmare or a bout of nausea. Barney was always there, taking care of him, offering warmth and safety. Like a family.

“When was the last time you saw your real family, Barney?” Lee asked one night.

If the question surprised him, Barney hid it well.

“In my adolescence, I think. Why?”

“No reason. Just wondering.”

“Wondering?”

“About how a man chooses to lead a life like yours.”

“Why did you?”

Lee shrugged. “I followed you.”

Barney’s raised eyebrows showed his surprise, but he also seemed amused.

A little frustrated, Lee tried to point out the obvious: “What? You have a whole new team to prove many will follow you. You’re just so used to me, that you…”

“Never.”

“What?”

“I never could get used to you. You’re too important.”

“And now you talk like we’re married.”

“Galgo and Luna seem to think we are.”

Barney cringed as if he was unsure how Lee would react to the mention of his new team. Seeing the silent fear and sadness in Barney’s gaze was enough proof for Lee to show how truly sorry Barney was.

“So that’s the reason I never have any luck with women! You jinx it from the start, always telling me they’ll betray me. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“Big word, there.”

Lee mockingly punched him in the arm.

“Oh, come on!” Barney said, throwing his hands in the air. “Your bad taste in women has nothing to do with me.”

“Maybe, but your affection towards me doesn’t actually go unnoticed.”

*

Barney was stunned. His affection towards Lee was pretty much an open secret, but he never thought Lee would reciprocate those feelings. He was attracted to women, that’s it. End of story. Barney had his dreams, but they would never become a reality.

“Okay,” Barney said with a more serious note. “You wanted to spend tonight with some random woman, as you are wont to do. Those things never last. Now, describe me a person with whom you could be forever. Not just for the night. You’d have to commit to them.”

“Barney…”

“Humor me.”

Lee threw Barney an annoyed gaze but with a frustrated huff, he started listing:

“Someone trustworthy. There has to be someone like that in the world, right? And someone who understands me. Who gets it that I am often away but who’s still be willing to stay by my side. Oh, and they have to be good-looking.”

“So, basically… me.”

“I said good-looking.”

Lee shut his mouth so quickly he bit his tongue.

“If you don’t learn how to shut up, you’ll give even Galgo a run for his money,” Barney muttered.

“Do we have to talk about the new team right now?” Lee asked.

“No. But we have to talk about it soon.”

Leaning against the couch, Lee closed his eyes. Barney sat next to him, pressing himself against him. His warmth felt good and for a while Lee was back in the island, Barney whispering things to his ear no one else would hear. Words about love, care and his fears of Lee leaving them. And suddenly everything was clear to him. Lee understood why Barney had looked so lost when he had stormed out from the bar. Or why a look of hurt sometimes flashed in his eyes when Lee talked about their most dangerous missions. Barney was scared. Scared of losing him, losing the one he always tried to protect. Leaning against Barney’s neck Lee whispered:

“I’ll never leave you. But you must promise not to push me away.”

For a moment, time stood still. Then Lee felt a warm touch on the back of his neck, and then a strong but gentle hand slowly roaming down his back. He felt Barney’s lips on his forehead, right where he had cut his head a few nights ago. Reaching up just a little, Lee kissed him. Barney’s answer was sure, yet gentle, giving Lee the space to turn away if he needed to. But he didn’t. For the first time in his life, he knew exactly what to do.

Giving in to Barney’s gentle push, he laid down on the couch. Barney followed, careful not to put any pressure on Lee’s cracked ribs. The warm weight on his body was the thing Lee had always searched for. Putting his arms around Barney, pulling him closer, he made his feelings known. Barney’s groan, full of excitement and awe, was the most beautiful sound Lee had ever heard.

 


End file.
